From cheshire@digital.net Wed Mar 18 09:11:47 1998
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 07:22:22 -0500 (EST)
To: Richard Cheshire <cheshire@200.com>
Subject: Re: March EM Update (fwd)


Dear Sirs,

Do you ever get replies to your bulk emailing that could be considered
emotionally damaging? If so I have written a program that filters out
phrases such as "Spam Spewing Simpletons" or "Leave me alone you Bastards"
from incoming emails, leaving you undisturbed with the untold countless
millions that await you in your new found effort to get rich without ever
really producing a product or indeed a service that is worth anything.

I have even made the filter's sensitivity level adjustable so that you can
set the automatic deletion function to activate at the familiar phrase
"Fuck You" at minimum to "I didn't request any of this information", or
"Unsubscribe" at maximum.

Obviously you are not someone who is interested in such intangibles as
demographics or anything as complicated as market research. You believe
that everyone should be interested in your new found way of buying houses
using only used popsicle sticks and husks of Spanish onions or how to get
totally nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine engaged on "hot" action with
national landmarks for free. I applaud you for your deep understanding of
human nature that everyone wants to know these things and will send you
$19.95 to reward you for your philanthropic endeavors. And there is no
reason why you should have to put up with the few ingrates that wish to
vocalize their misguided frustration by sending negatively charged email 
to you , directly interfering with your ability to enjoy making the untold
millions that await you.

My simple program SCUMRID costs a mere $35.00, takes up a mere 50k of disk
space, and takes seconds to install and works FAST. Some even say its over
efficient, increasing system performance in areas they didn't expect. Many
companies insist that after using my program they found they had increased
the amount of free hard drive space to a level they had enjoyed before 
they installed their bulk emailing program and in some case their ENTIRE
OPERATING SYSTEM!!!

Please send all enquiries to Cygnus@downcity.net